Blog Archive

Saturday, November 18, 2006

21 ways to tell your butler is trying to kill you

He spends a lot of time in the library with a candlestick

He keeps bringing up your will/life insurance in conversations

He cataloges his murder mysteries under "How To"

Bought you "Clue" for your birthday and told you it was a way of life

The smoking gun in his hand, and the bullet hole in your forehead.

You find twelve copies of "Assasin Weekly" stuffed under his mattress.

He is wiring your personal bathroom with high voltage electricty

"Shall I bring you a new dinner-knife sir?"

Every time you turn your back and walk away a knife flys at you

Yells fr/above -"It puts the lotion in its skin or else it gets the hose again"

He puts extra scorpians under your covers

Only reads murder mysteries where "The Butler Did It"

The trail of knifes in the wall whenever you walk out the kitchen

Your butler is ALWAYS planning to kill you

Your new bed looks suspiciously like a guillotine

He killed your dog, who got to your food before you already

He lets his pet tiger run loose in the back of your limo

Master, where did you put the knife sharpener?

The death threat written in his hand writting

You're name is George W. Bush

He asks what flavor do you like better bleach or cranberry poison

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