Don't do it!

I was walking across a bridge one day, and
I saw a man standing on the edge, about to
jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't
do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well,
there's so much to live for!" "Like what?"
"Well... are you religious?" He said yes.
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or
Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you
Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow!
Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or
Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church
of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist
Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist
Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church
of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist
Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God,
reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic
scum", and pushed him off.



- Emo Philips